It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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