what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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