i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
