everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
