Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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