We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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