If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
