do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
