if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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