So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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