I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
