you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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