What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
