I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
