You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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