Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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