That's intense
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
