I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
