He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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