I wish you could order shots online.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
