I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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