I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
should my penis look like a turkey
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
