need another drink. this is the easiest way
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
