oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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