I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i don't like sucking hair
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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