Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
