I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
