I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
