How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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