I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
