I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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