This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Every concussion has its silver lining
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
