I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
