i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
