No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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