Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
