How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
