Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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