Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
