He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
