I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
