you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
