I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
