I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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