What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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