seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
