come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
