So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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