hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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