a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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